Stop Interrupting Me: Speak, Don’t Shrink

by Team TCP
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Why People Talk Over You & How To Remain Calm While Protecting Your Voice 

Think about this: Which of these would you speak during?

• When someone is speaking on their phone

• When someone is giving a speech or presentation

• When a teacher is teaching a class

• When someone is performing on stage

The answer is simple: none. We naturally know it’s rude to interrupt in these situations. So why do we sometimes interrupt someone in a regular conversation, even when it’s just between two people? Recognizing this double standard can help us pause, listen, and give others the same respect we expect in public or formal settings.

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People speak to share ideas, ask for help, and build relationships. Yet sometimes, when someone is talking, another person cuts them off before they finish. At a basic level, it can make someone feel disrespected as if their thoughts or words aren’t important enough to be heard fully. It may also lead to frustration, especially if they were trying to explain something meaningful or complex.
 

On a more personal level, it can cause someone to feel ignored or dismissed, like their voice doesn’t matter. If their esteem isn’t very high, over time, repeated interruptions can even make a person feel less confident or hesitant to speak up at all because they expect they won’t be listened to.  If their self-confidence is strong they may not see value in sharing details with you because you don’t have the mentality to listen.
 

Many adults experience this in daily life at home, at work, and in social settings. Being interrupted can mean different things depending on the situation, the people involved, and the setting. Understanding why it happens and learning ways to respond can help people handle these moments with more confidence.
 

Interruptions can happen for many reasons. Sometimes the reason is simple and harmless. Other times, it may show deeper issues in communication or respect.

One possible reason someone interrupts is excitement. A person may feel eager to share an idea or react quickly to what you are saying. In this case, the interruption is not meant to be rude. The person may simply be enthusiastic about the topic. This happens often when people are having lively discussions with friends or coworkers. They may jump in because they want to contribute while the idea is fresh in their mind.
 

Another possible reason is impatience. Some people find it difficult to wait for others to finish speaking. They may think they already understand what the speaker is going to say. Because of this, they interrupt to move the conversation forward more quickly. While this may not be meant as disrespectful, it can still make the speaker feel rushed or ignored.
 

Interruptions can also happen because of communication habits. Some families and cultures talk in very fast and overlapping ways. In these settings, speaking over each other is seen as normal conversation rather than rude behavior. People from these backgrounds may interrupt without realizing it feels uncomfortable for others.
 

Either way, this means the person being interrupted might notice:

• The listener is paying attention and mentally involved, not bored or dismissive
   

• Their topic is interesting enough to trigger excitement or quick responses
   

• The conversation is active and energetic, rather than one-sided
   

However, even though the intent isn’t rude, the person being cut off might still:

• Feel slightly frustrated if they can’t finish their thought
   

• Need to pause and regain their place in the conversation
   

• Wonder whether they’ll get a chance to fully express their idea

In some cases, interruptions are used as a way to control the conversation. A person may interrupt to shift attention back to themselves or to change the topic.  People may feel pressure to speak first in order to be heard or attempt to establish they have authority.
 

Power and status can also play a role. Research on workplace communication has found that people in higher positions often interrupt more frequently than those in lower positions. Managers or supervisors may cut in to guide the discussion or give directions. However, sometimes this behavior can make employees feel their ideas are not valued.  Their higher position can create a sense of authority, where they are more comfortable stepping in and taking control of the discussion. However, even if their intention is to lead or manage effectively, this behavior can sometimes come across as dismissive and make others feel like their input isn’t as important.  In addition, when it's a simple conversation when authority doesn't exist with any talking, some will still attempt to be in control.
 

Gender can also affect how often people are interrupted. Some studies have found that women are interrupted more often than men in certain environments. Researchers believe this may be connected to social expectations about authority and speaking roles. However, the results can vary depending on the and the group dynamics.  In this situation, it shows that he is interested in presenting his own information but not in hearing or engaging with hers. The interruption, combined with not giving her space to continue, makes it clear that her input is being overlooked.
 

Even though interruptions are common, there are ways to deal with them calmly and effectively.  One helpful strategy is to pause and then continue speaking. If someone interrupts but stops quickly, you can simply finish your thought. For example, you might say, “Let me finish this point,” and then continue. Saying this in a calm tone helps remind others that you were not done speaking.
 

Interrupting can also be a way to avoid personal or uncomfortable conversations.  For example, you might be trying to talk to a friend or family member about something that’s bothering you. As you start explaining how you feel, they cut you off and quickly switch the topic, maybe by bringing up something unrelated like plans for the weekend or a story about themselves.  In that moment, it can feel like they don’t want to hear what you’re saying. The interruption becomes a way for them to steer away from the subject especially if it’s something emotional or difficult.  For the person being interrupted, this can feel hurtful or frustrating because they were trying to be open but didn’t get the chance to be heard. Plus, it raises a bigger question: if someone can’t even pause and truly listen for a moment, how can you expect them to be there when something much greater comes along?  That’s an article for another time.
 

Another option is to acknowledge the interruption but guide the conversation back to your point. You might say something like, “That’s a good point. I’d like to finish what I was saying first.” This approach shows respect for the other person while still protecting your chance to speak.
 

Body language is important when speaking face-to-face. Maintaining eye contact, using confident posture, and keeping a steady speaking pace can signal that you are not finished yet. A clear, strong voice and subtle gestures, like leaning forward or raising a hand slightly, can further emphasize that you are actively sharing your point. On phone calls, where body language isn’t visible, your tone, volume, and pacing become key. Pausing briefly before letting someone respond and using verbal cues, such as “Just a moment, I’m not done” or “Let me finish my thought,” helps others recognize that you are still speaking and ensures your message is fully heard.
 

Another useful skill is active listening. When people model good listening behavior, others often follow. This means allowing others to finish speaking, asking questions after they finish, and showing attention through body language. Over time, this can improve communication when speaking and active listening.
 

If interruptions happen often with the same person, you might say, “I’ve noticed that sometimes I get cut off when I’m speaking. I’d appreciate having a chance to finish my thoughts.” Many people do not realize they interrupt frequently until someone points it out.
 

It is also important to remember that communication is a shared responsibility. While it is helpful to speak confidently, listeners also have a role in creating respectful conversations. Healthy discussions require patience, curiosity, and willingness to hear different ideas.

Building these habits takes practice. Many people interrupt without meaning intentional harm. By becoming more aware of how conversations flow, both speakers and listeners can improve their communication skills.
 

There are practical ways to handle interruptions. Calm responses, confident speaking, clear communication rules, and respectful listening can all help create better conversations. When people learn to give each other space to speak, discussions become more thoughtful and productive.
 

If someone repeatedly interrupts and refuses to let you speak, it may be best not to engage with them. Trying to have a conversation in that situation can be frustrating and emotionally draining. People who consistently ignore your voice often show a lack of respect for your ideas or boundaries and speaking up may not change their behavior. Protecting your energy is more important than forcing communication with someone who is unwilling to listen. Focusing on conversations where your voice is valued allows you to be heard without unnecessary stress.  Meaning speak to someone that values you and what you say.
 

In the end, communication works best when all parties involved feel heard. Allowing someone to finish their thoughts may seem like a small action but it can build trust, understanding, and stronger relationships in both personal and professional life.

Quick Skills For Better Conversations

For the Person Who Interrupts

• Listen actively: Focus on their words, not just your reply.

• Pause before speaking: Give space for others to finish.

• Notice habits: Be aware of when and why you interrupt.

• Show empathy: Consider how it feels to be cut off.

• Take turns clearly: Signal when it’s your turn instead of jumping in.

For the Person Who Wants to Speak Up

• Use verbal cues: Say things like “I’m not done yet.”

• Speak with confidence: Maintain steady pace and clear tone.

• Use body language: Eye contact and upright posture reinforce your message.

• Prepare your thoughts: Know what you want to say before speaking.

• Persist politely: Continue speaking calmly if interrupted.

Quick Skills for Better Phone Conversations

For the Person Who Interrupts

• Listen fully: Focus on their words, not your reply.

• Limit “mm-hmm” and “okay”: Use them sparingly.

• Pause before speaking: Give a second to ensure they’re done.

• Respect silence: A pause doesn’t always mean they finished.

• Avoid overlap: Talking at the same time disrupts the flow.

• Wait your turn: Speak during clear breaks, not mid-sentence.

For the Person Who Wants to Speak Up

• Use clear cues: “I’m not done yet” or “Let me finish.”

• Speak steadily: A calm, even pace shows you’re continuing.

• Use tone as presence: Confidence replaces body language.

• Keep going: Don’t stop if briefly talked over.

• Signal continuation: “And another point is…”

• Stay on track: Return to your point if interrupted.

FYI:  Source assistance via Google​
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