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Coincidence Or Pattern?

by Team TCP

 

A police officer once told me something I have never forgotten. He said, “Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern.” At first, the sentence sounded simple.  With that, the TCP team analyzed it. We discovered how much meaning it actually holds. It is a short message, yet it teaches an important lesson about paying attention to what happens around us.

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In this article, we'll consider what that statement means, why it matters, and how we can use it in everyday life. Even though the idea may sound like something a detective would use to solve a mystery, it's also helpful for students, teachers, families, and anyone who wants to understand the world better.

 

Let’s look at the first part: “Twice is a coincidence

A coincidence is when two things happen at the same time, but not for any clear reason. For example:

  • You and your friend wear the same shirt to school two Mondays in a row.

  • You pick two cards in a row and they’re both hearts.

  • You see two red cars parked next to each other.
     

These things might surprise you, but they do not prove anything special is going on. They could easily be accidents or just chance. The world is full of random events and sometimes they happen close together without meaning anything.

 

Now let’s look at the second part: “Three times is a pattern

A pattern means something is happening repeatedly, in a way that doesn’t seem random anymore. A pattern suggests that there is a reason, or a cause, behind what you are seeing. For example:

  • You and your friend wear the same shirt three Mondays in a row.

  • You draw a card from a deck three times and each time it’s a heart.

  • You see three red cars parked side by side at three different locations.
     

When something happens three times, it makes you stop and think: Is something behind this? Is someone choosing this? Is there a rule I don’t understand? Patterns help us learn, make predictions, and understand problems. This is why scientists, detectives, and even teachers are always looking for patterns.

 

How Police Use This Idea

The officer who shared this quote with me used it in his work. Police officers pay close attention to patterns. They notice:

  • When a crime happens in the same area again and again

  • When the same person is involved in multiple incidents

  • When similar mistakes happen in a case

  • When accidents follow the same causes
     

If something happens only once, it might not mean very much. If it happens twice, it might still be a chance. Yet if it happens three times, it becomes a clue. A good investigator knows that clues build patterns, and patterns help solve problems. 

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Police officers use this idea not to jump to conclusions, but to know when to start digging deeper.   (EXAMPLE:  A person is generally considered a serial killer after killing three or more people.)

 

This idea doesn’t just belong in police work. It shows up everywhere in life. Think about school, family, and habits.

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1. Schoolwork

  • If you fail one quiz, it might be because you were tired.

  • If you fail two quizzes, it might be because the topic is hard.

  • But if you fail three quizzes in a row, it might be a pattern telling you something important—maybe you need to study differently or ask for help.

Would you keep paying for college if the student kept failing all classes beyond 3 semesters?

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2. Family/Friendships/Associates

  • If a friend ignores one message, maybe they were busy.

  • If they ignore two messages, maybe they forgot.

  • Yet if they ignore three messages, it could be a pattern showing that something might be wrong in the friendship.

If a relative keeps yelling degrading things at you, mistreating you, or telling untruths about you, would you keep going around them?

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3. Habits

  • If you skip exercise once, it’s no big deal.

  • If you skip it twice, it’s still not a huge problem.

  • However if you skip it three times, you might be creating a new habit with different results.

Would you bundle service if it keeps crashing out especially on holidays?

 

The quote matters because it reminds us to pay attention. Many problems grow quietly. They start small, like a tiny crack in a wall or a missed day from work. One or two signs might not seem important. When something repeats three times, it deserves our attention.

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This idea also protects us from overreacting. If we see something happen just once or twice, we do not have to panic or make a big deal out of it. We can be calm and patient. The pattern helps us know when it is time to act and when it is safe to wait.  This somewhat leads to an upcoming article about you understanding you teach people how to treat you. (stay tuned)

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It is also a way to be fair. You do not want to blame someone for a mistake they made only once. Everyone makes mistakes. However if the same mistake keeps happening, then it might be time to talk about it. When I first heard the quote, I thought it was mainly about police work. But now I believe it teaches a life skill: observing without quickly judging.  Asking questions that would arrive at the matters current stance.  

 

To us, the quote means:

  • Don’t assume everything has meaning.

  • Don’t ignore things that repeat.

  • Let evidence, not emotions, guide you.

  • Look for signs before making decisions.
     

The unfortunate part for this topic is having so much occur beyond the pattern point over and over and over again in life. It creates a sense of exhaustion as if lessons are repeating without resolution.  Who decides what is right or wrong for a lesson to need to keep repeating?  The statement truly makes you think.  The quote is simple enough for anyone to use. You don’t have to be a detective to see patterns. Kids can use it. Adults can use it. Even families can use it to understand routines, behaviors, and choices.

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Lastly, the statement reminds us that our actions affect others. If you are kind once, people may smile. If you are kind twice, they might think you are friendly. But if you are kind three times or more, people will know you have a caring heart. Good patterns matter too.

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The officer’s words, “Twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern” teaches us to be very observant. They remind us when to stay calm, when to pay attention, and when to take action. Patterns help us understand problems, improve our behavior, and make better choices.

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So the next time you notice something happening again and again, ask yourself: Is this just chance or is this a pattern trying to tell me something? You might be surprised by how much you can learn when you start paying attention.

 

Be aware:

​ - Good for noticing habits

 - Helps identifying early warning signs

 - Promotes spotting repeated behaviors in people attention

 - It is commonly used by cops, detectives, investigators, journalists, and analysts
    These jobs require noticing repeating events quickly
- The saying encourages early attention to repeated behavior or events
    It prompts someone to look closer after noticing the third occurrence
- In psychology, the saying aligns with humans’ natural tendency to seek patterns
    The human brain is wired to connect repeated events, even with small amounts of information
- Psychologists study this tendency as “pattern recognition” or “pattern perception”
    It’s a real cognitive process that helps people detect habits or risks​
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Optional - Quick “Should I Act?” Checklist for Family & Friendships

Ask yourself:

  1. It happened more than once?

  2. Could it be random?

  3. Does it matter to me or others?

  4. Is it serious?

  5. Do I have enough information?

  6. Is it getting worse?

  7. What happens if I ignore it?

  8. Do I need help?

  9. What’s my smallest safe step?

  10. Will action make things better?

 

If you answer yes to several of these, it’s probably time to act.

 

In short, spotting repeated behaviors gives you a “map” of how people tend to act. It doesn’t make them predictable 100% of the time.  It helps you learn from experience and respond wisely in relationships, school, work, or everyday life.  

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FYI:  Source assistance via Google

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Have your opinions valued.  Share your thoughts about the topic. Email us at TCPcontact1@gmail.com

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